The Heartographer – Answering profile questions

No matter how much you grind your profile, people tend to tune it out when they’re ter ‘browsing mode.’ Thesis basic tips for answering profile questions ter creative fresh ways will make people want to keep reading, and get te touch ASAP!

1) Don’t reaction the expected question. This unpredictability makes your profile more interesting. 6 things I can’t live without? How about: 6 things I most like to cook? 6 apps I permanently use? 6 pets I’ll never own again? You can annotate each thing with a little detail about why, this makes your ‘6 things’ section stand out.

Two) Write like you talk. When you write spil if you’re talking with a reader, it forges a stronger emotional connection. Include conversational tics like “haha,” “um,” and “like,” spil if you were talking with friends. Attempt using voice dictation software, or transcribing a voice recording. You can also insert imaginary dialog. But avoid using text shorthand like “jk” or “lol.”

Three) Showcase, don’t tell. Don’t list attributes about yourself, i.e. “I’ve bot told I’m sensitive and compassionate.” Instead, paint a picture:

“I can’t help but gasp up a little bit whenever I see a ‘lost cat’ poster. Those poor owners! That poor kitty!”

Four) Embrace self-deprecation. If you express a lack of success te one area, this actually shows natural overall confidence: underneath your jab is the vibe that you’re so secure ter yourself and your other strengths that you’re OK admitting this weakness. It also makes you seem WAY more approachable! You can even get away with a little humblebragging if there’s enough self-deprecation to keep you from seeming cocky.

Ter the field “What I’m doing with my life,” attempt:

“This sounds eerily like that over-bearing uncle at family gatherings, you know? ‘So, Leo, did you eventually figure out that being a filmrolletje major wasgoed a worthless life choice?’ I’m doing JUST FINE UNCLE JERRY, I’ll have you know one of the films I directed won an award at Sundance. Pass the potatoes, please.”

Imaginary dialog: check. Painting a picture of following your desires: check. Humblebragging about career prowess: check. Slight family disapproval self-deprecation: check. Exposing how you earn your living, while avoiding a boring, expected response: check.

Five) Be inviting. Pepper your profile with invitations for conversation, or mention restaurants you’d like to attempt. When you list TV shows, attempt:

“I’ve bot holding off on The Walking Dead, because I need someone’s arm to death-grip while I scream and voorkant my eyes (with my other arm, duh.) You’re te charge of popcorn. Reserve butter, please.”

Thesis little tweaks will convert your profile from just another click into an intimate, titillating hook that leaves readers dying to get to know you!

More on how to reaction questions atypically

“Six things you can’t live without.” “You should message mij if…” Ugh. Thesis are LAME, right? They’re boring questions! Look, actually, ALL questions ter most online dating profiles are boring at their core, because they’re all the same across all users of the webpagina. That gets old no matter how punchy you aim to make it. But by answering questions ter an atypical style, you can help your profile stand out and seem more human compared to the other dating drones. ,) Let’s walk through some examples of how to pauze the mold.

Six things you can’t live without

This is basically begging for a list of comma-separated adjectives. Or maybe, MAYBE items on separate lines, with a hyphen te vuurlijn. At best. Right? So people get sick of glossing overheen the boring lists.

Attempt answering this one te a more prose format, perhaps with a twist. Write a little mini-essay about an awesome volmaakt imaginary Tuesday, ter which you got to share a fecali with your brother, walk your best friend’s dog out ter the glorious unexpected springtime sunshine, and catch up on a Spel of Thrones marathon at huis after cooking up an awesome vegan Padachtige Thai for a friend you hardly get to see because… he’s your boss, and he’s too busy to dangle out at work.

Then work rearwards to extrapolate: what are the significant things? Fecali, family, pets, outdoorsiness, physical activity, friendship/generosity, nerdy TV binges, cooking/veganism/animal welfare (AND generosity and friendship again), a job you love. Right? PLUS, this demonstrates that you can cook, that you keep gezond, and that you have an active social life, and it showcases some of your values.

You can even dare readers to figure out the six things for themselves, and send their best guess ter a message. It might not work, but you never know, and it invites conversation… and violates the boring six-things mold. That part is key!

What I’m doing with my life

This one deep-throats because it basically sounds like it’s asking for a LinkedIn headline. So here’s a peak: no matter how cool your job actually is, or actually sounds, it’ll seem boring if you just list what you do here. Even if you do so creatively. Why? Because most other people are doing that, too. So you have to have some more joy with it!

Attempt poking joy at yourself, alluding to the fact that you’re using your BA te Macroeconomics to craft excellent espresso shots because economic downfall. Attempt telling you use your expensive Harvard Business degree to ultimately victim away at a nonprofit that means you’re on track to pay off your loans ten years after mortuary tables indicate you’re likely to diegene. (It’s a bit of a humblebrag, but it’s also a way to sneak ter that you’re wise, hard-working, professional, and sultry about your cause, so it kinda works.)

Self-deprecating isn’t your style? Joke about how you’re “opening up a browser, typing te OKcupid….oh, you didn’t mean like RIGHT now, did you? Sorry! I’m leisurely decaying until my assets expires. Oh! Too broad? OK, gosh! I’m an registeraccountant who runs an Etsy storefront on the side, did that one work? Oh, good. This question is freaking mij out.”

ANYTHING atypical like this will be more arousing than simply reading about your career and goals, even tho’ those are ultimately what makes you interesting spil a person. The profile isn’t just about you spil a person, after all, it’s a instrument to capture the utterly fleeting rente of people who might actually get along with you spil a person. So it’s OK to spel it a little, the system is begging to be toyed with!

You should message mij if

Heerser, this one is awful, because it begs for negativity. It sort of leaves slagroom for an otherwise charming, well-written, positive profile to veer into “you’re not a creep or a fatty” negativity, or it asks for a witless “uh, if you’re still reading and you want to?” response. Those can both be totally valid sentiments, by the way, but voicing them te this particular way will end your potential date’s profile-reading practice on a sour note, so it’s likely to backfire and scare them away.

Again, attempt being prosey. Attempt essentially answering a totally different question. Or just be geeky if that’s your thing, “…you’re a carbon-based female life form seeking an optimal companion with which to share your fleeting existence on this planet.” A trifle morbid, sure, but a heck of a loterijlot more interesting than “If you want to,” ya know?

Advice for any dating webpagina

The above examples are all OKCupid questions, because most of my clients spil of late have bot using that toneel. But the philosophy behind Q&A strategy applies to all different sites. Pauze the mold, talk like a person, invite conversation, be playful, attempt to introduce humor.

Oh, and a golden peak I tell people when I work with them directly? Pack out the last section very first. (You know, the one called “All about me” or “self-summary” or whatever.) By the time you’re done with the surplus of your profile, you will have loosened up a bit spil a writer, and you’ll also be a little sick of packing it out… so you’re more likely to be both punchy and schrijven, both of which are effective and will set you exclusief from other profiles.

More creative profile resources

Up Goer Five—This XKCD comic actually serves spil pretty excellent inspiration for profile writing. Play around with gamifying your profile and see what you come up with. Anything that’s playful and unexpected is excellent, especially if it has a geeky leaned and you do too and you want to attract similarly geeky mates.

I’ll add other posts/sections here overheen time. But subscribe to my newsletter to see them very first!

(This pagina is adapted from an Online Dating University chunk, a prior Heartographer newsletter, and various blog posts.)

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