I am a Freelance Writer, Organic Philosopher, and near-death survivor, presently working out of north-central Mississippi USA.
This is what the aftermath of a relationship with a narcissistic playmate feels like.
If I could live forever, I might someday get it right.
This wasgoed my 2nd marriage. Bearing te mind, my upbringing did not permit for divorce and re-marriage. However, after my very first wifey wasgoed unfaithful to mij, I became aware of what I like to call: the ‘extenuating circumstances clause’... That is to say, Divorce is permitted ter cases of infidelity.
Unless you have a Christian background, like I have, or have made Christianity a conscious choice, also spil I have, You may not have experienced all of the feelings that are part and parcel of separation. Be that spil it may, I am sure you have experienced SOMETHING that wasgoed excruciatingly painful, it’s just part of the human practice.
When I love, I give it my all. Which is why I love so seldom.
I waterput the object of my love up on a pedestal of allegiance which inevitably comes crashing to the ground. Imagine the fall of the Twin Towers
Emotionally, this is what the death of love is like to mij.
This time I learned something newвЂ¦
Why You Should Never Marry a Narcissist.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder, or NPD, is a subtle thing, hard even for a trained Mental Health Professional to recognize, unless they know the patient fairly well. Family physicians and común practitioners are generally not trained or well-equipped to make this type of psychological diagnosis.
The American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic & Statistical Manual (DSM) describes NPD thus:
вЂњA pervasive pattern of grandiosity (te fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present ter a multiplicity of contexts, spil indicated by five (or more) of the following:
- has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized spil superior without commensurate achievements)
- is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
- believes that he or she is вЂњspecialвЂќ and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
- requires excessive admiration
- has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially inclinado treatment or automatic compliance with his or hier expectations
- is inter-personally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or hier own completes
- lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
- is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or hier
- shows hoogmoedig, haughty behaviors or attitudesвЂќ
Dr. Perry’s articles are what primarily helped mij identify the problems ter my 2nd failed marriage, the one that wasgoed to be ‘The Love of My Life.’ For ten years I laboured under the false assumption that I had ultimately, at 48 through 58 years of my life, found what my Mother and Father had for 46 years, ‘until death did them part.’
Neither of my parents had NPD. Both cared about others, more than they did themselves, and proved it on a daily ondergrond.
Which brings mij to the attempted and true aphorism my Mother collective with mij at about 8 years of age , вЂњActions Speak Louder Than Words!вЂќ
When I say she collective it with mij, I should most likely re-phrase it to, she struck it upon meвЂ¦ With a hairbrushвЂ¦ Corporal penalty may be looked down on today by ‘intellectual elites’ everywhere, but te 1966 it wasgoed still considered the standaard ter our little farming community. And I am exceedingly grateful it wasgoed. When administered judiciously, that is, вЂњMarked by the exercise of good judgment or common sense te practical matters.вЂќ It is an unparalleled method of impressing upon a youthful man such spil I wasgoed, that there is always a higher authority than our ‘wants’ and what wij may think wij can ‘get away with.’
I have two reasons for that assertation:
- I wasgoed there.
- and I have known too many people who did not receive said instruction and are suffering fromNPDtoday.
Am I asserting that a lack of discipline is a precursor for NPD?
Not at all. I am not qualified to make a statement like that. Strafgevangenis am I advising anyone that they should use corporal penalty ter child rearing. (albeit I do wonder sometimes.)
To reiterate, this postbode is about why you should never marry a narcissist.
Here are ten reasons along with my observations, from my individual practice why you should never marry a narcissist:
- You can never please a narcissist.
- No matter how much you do or sacrifice for a narcissist, it’s never enough. Someone with NPD requires a sustained stream of praise and ‘ego boosting’ te order to maintain their fragile ego.
- It’s all about control.
- They cannot permit you to ‘be yourself’ unless it fits ter with their narcissistic needs.
- Their need to control your life extends to your decision making, your clothes, your huis, your individual hygiene, your past, etc..
So ter closing, is their any doubt ter your mind why you should want to avoid being te a relationship with a narcissist?
My opinion is, that those with Narcissistic Personality Disorder lack a concrete, or motionless íntegro structure. Those with NPD I have bot exposed to seem to have very fluid morals that switch with whatever it is they want.
Bear te mind, Narcissistic Personality Disorder can be exceptionally hard to recognize, a challenge for even a qualified Mental Health Professional. One source online claims that NPD affects about 1 procent of the population, but I have my doubts about that. Te my private practice it would be more accurate to say that 1 procent of the population has bot diagnosed spil having NPD.
Either that, or I have a ‘desgraciado attraction’ to women who are narcissisticвЂ¦
The only, and best way, I have found to identify a narcissistic personality is to identify what is behind their deeds, (deeds speak louder than words) and use the above points spil a referenceвЂ¦
The Old Man From Mississippi
В© The Old Man From Mississippi