Characterized by concern only for their own interests and welfare, a narcissist sees nothing wrong with taking advantage of opportunities without regard for the consequences to others.

October 6, 2018 Leave a comment

I am a Freelance Writer, Organic Philosopher, and near-death survivor, presently working out of north-central Mississippi USA.

This is what the aftermath of a relationship with a narcissistic playmate feels like.

If I could live forever, I might someday get it right.

This wasgoed my 2nd marriage. Bearing te mind, my upbringing did not permit for divorce and re-marriage. However, after my very first wifey wasgoed unfaithful to mij, I became aware of what I like to call: the ‘extenuating circumstances clause’... That is to say, Divorce is permitted ter cases of infidelity.

Unless you have a Christian background, like I have, or have made Christianity a conscious choice, also spil I have, You may not have experienced all of the feelings that are part and parcel of separation. Be that spil it may, I am sure you have experienced SOMETHING that wasgoed excruciatingly painful, it’s just part of the human practice.

When I love, I give it my all. Which is why I love so seldom.

I waterput the object of my love up on a pedestal of allegiance which inevitably comes crashing to the ground. Imagine the fall of the Twin Towers

Emotionally, this is what the death of love is like to mij.

This time I learned something new…

Why You Should Never Marry a Narcissist.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder, or NPD, is a subtle thing, hard even for a trained Mental Health Professional to recognize, unless they know the patient fairly well. Family physicians and común practitioners are generally not trained or well-equipped to make this type of psychological diagnosis.

The American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic & Statistical Manual (DSM) describes NPD thus:

“A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (te fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present ter a multiplicity of contexts, spil indicated by five (or more) of the following:

  1. has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized spil superior without commensurate achievements)
  2. is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
  3. believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
  4. requires excessive admiration
  5. has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially inclinado treatment or automatic compliance with his or hier expectations
  6. is inter-personally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or hier own completes
  7. lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
  8. is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or hier
  9. shows hoogmoedig, haughty behaviors or attitudes”

Dr. Perry’s articles are what primarily helped mij identify the problems ter my 2nd failed marriage, the one that wasgoed to be ‘The Love of My Life.’ For ten years I laboured under the false assumption that I had ultimately, at 48 through 58 years of my life, found what my Mother and Father had for 46 years, ‘until death did them part.’

Neither of my parents had NPD. Both cared about others, more than they did themselves, and proved it on a daily ondergrond.

Which brings mij to the attempted and true aphorism my Mother collective with mij at about 8 years of age , “Actions Speak Louder Than Words!”

When I say she collective it with mij, I should most likely re-phrase it to, she struck it upon me… With a hairbrush… Corporal penalty may be looked down on today by ‘intellectual elites’ everywhere, but te 1966 it wasgoed still considered the standaard ter our little farming community. And I am exceedingly grateful it wasgoed. When administered judiciously, that is, “Marked by the exercise of good judgment or common sense te practical matters.” It is an unparalleled method of impressing upon a youthful man such spil I wasgoed, that there is always a higher authority than our ‘wants’ and what wij may think wij can ‘get away with.’

I have two reasons for that assertation:

  1. I wasgoed there.
  2. and I have known too many people who did not receive said instruction and are suffering fromNPDtoday.

Am I asserting that a lack of discipline is a precursor for NPD?

Not at all. I am not qualified to make a statement like that. Strafgevangenis am I advising anyone that they should use corporal penalty ter child rearing. (albeit I do wonder sometimes.)

To reiterate, this postbode is about why you should never marry a narcissist.

Here are ten reasons along with my observations, from my individual practice why you should never marry a narcissist:

  1. You can never please a narcissist.
  1. No matter how much you do or sacrifice for a narcissist, it’s never enough. Someone with NPD requires a sustained stream of praise and ‘ego boosting’ te order to maintain their fragile ego.
  2. It’s all about control.
  1. They cannot permit you to ‘be yourself’ unless it fits ter with their narcissistic needs.
  2. Their need to control your life extends to your decision making, your clothes, your huis, your individual hygiene, your past, etc..
  • They don’t loveyou
    1. they love what you do for them.
    2. they love how the relationship ‘makes’ them feel.
    3. they love ‘being ter love‘(but it’s not, not indeed)
    4. They love your financial status.
    5. they love your job. (that provides for them)
    6. they love having someone to ‘love’ (indeed just feeds their narcissism)
    7. they love a lotsbestemming of things, just not YOU!
    8. They NEVER accept private responsibility
      1. you hear a lotsbestemming of statements like: “That wasn’t my fault”, “That (or they) made mij so mad!” “I wouldn’t have done that if you hadn’t done what you did!” Ad infinitum, Ad nauseum….
      2. Announcing that it’s not THEIR fault the relationship is te trouble, a narcissist will go back years into the relationship and cite examples of something YOU did, spil a defense. (my very first relationship with anarcissistended with a 57 pagina letterteken about all the things I had done wrong ter the 17 years of our marriage) Things that had never bot an kwestie before, and thesis ‘examples’ are always something YOU did that ‘made’ them feel the way they do.
      3. Adamant
        1. You. Can. Not. Reason. With. Them. Period. Another dead giveaway, attempting to reason with them only produces enhanced resistance to, and rejection of, you and your ideas.
        2. Of course this means they are adamant that they are right and you are wrong. If you should be so foolish to opoffering proof of your assertions, thinking you are dealing with a logical person, they will either switch the subject, or accuse you of ‘twisting everything around.’
        3. Your primary reason for existence is their happiness.
          1. Self-interest. Characterized by concern only for their own interests and welfare, a narcissist sees nothing wrong with taking advantage of opportunities without regard for the consequences to others.
          2. You CAN, and WILL BE, substituted.
            1. Since your primary reason for existence (ter their mind) is to provide them with the things they ‘need’, (because of their condition)a narcissist will stay ter the relationship only spil long spil they are getting what they want/need. A narcissist has no private loyalty to you, only to their own ‘needs’ via what you provide to supply that need.
            2. And recall, the list will proceed to grow, and the requests will only increase ter scope and size spil time passes. The narcissistic appetite for validation only increases. you cannot fix them.
            3. Lies are flawlessly acceptable (their lies, not yours)
              1. Since a narcissist has no loyalty to anything but their own appetites, and need for validation, their primary aim is to maintain the sources of said appetites and validations.
              2. Anything is acceptable spil a means to the end, up to and including lounging.
              3. If they have a strong inward ethic against lounging, spil they sometimes do, a narcissist may use evasions, avoidance, or irrational explanations,and save outright lies spil a last resort.
              4. Usually exhibits strong personality traits
                1. Because of the fragility of their ego, and their diminutive self-worth, a narcissist will often over-emphasize, and discourse often and at length about their own exploits te any given conversation. Not truly interested te what you may know or have to say, they can always ‘one-up’ you with a story about how they were stronger, smarter, better, etc..
                2. A narcissist is quiebro often forceful ter voicing their opinions, and spil mentioned above, adamant that they are right.
                3. Takes advantage of others
                  1. Ter my practice, a narcissist usually sees absolutely nothing wrong with taking advantage of anyone, and everyone, around them. And why would they? Refer to point number 6. Your reason for existence, ter their world, is to provide them with something they want. Merienda again, it’s about control!
                  2. a narcissist is usually very skilled te the manipulation of others, evaluating their ‘victims’ and noting their strengths, weaknesses, and vensterluik catches sight of for exploitation.

                    3. So ter closing, is their any doubt ter your mind why you should want to avoid being te a relationship with a narcissist?

                    My opinion is, that those with Narcissistic Personality Disorder lack a concrete, or motionless íntegro structure. Those with NPD I have bot exposed to seem to have very fluid morals that switch with whatever it is they want.

                    Bear te mind, Narcissistic Personality Disorder can be exceptionally hard to recognize, a challenge for even a qualified Mental Health Professional. One source online claims that NPD affects about 1 procent of the population, but I have my doubts about that. Te my private practice it would be more accurate to say that 1 procent of the population has bot diagnosed spil having NPD.

                    Either that, or I have a ‘desgraciado attraction’ to women who are narcissistic…

                    The only, and best way, I have found to identify a narcissistic personality is to identify what is behind their deeds, (deeds speak louder than words) and use the above points spil a reference…

                    The Old Man From Mississippi

                    В© The Old Man From Mississippi

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