There are so many eligible guys out there with stunning track records, but why do they always end up with the brief end of the online dating stick? By Danielle Anne Suleik
I admit that I am also guilty of foregoing the nice fellow te a crisp, clean T-shirt for the ruggedly sexy deadbeat with no medical insurance. Why? Because I had problems. The surprising thing, however, is that majority of the female population evidently have the same problems.
Why do so many women complain about not finding a good stud, when they purposely reject every mediocre-looking Prince Charming that comes their way? The response: society. A lotsbestemming of people begin to agree with a certain attitude and mind set, because there are people or groups of people who can confirm that they themselves have experienced the same thing.
Things are the way they are because wij cannot compartmentalize every little hang-up every woman has, unless it turns out to be something truly serious like a mental disorder. When you begin to believe that something is a fact, you embark to agree with said fact and apply it to future situations.
What does this mean for nice guys?
Unluckily, this is bad news for nice guys. Most of the women who you think are rejecting you are part of a thicker phenomenon that has no instant solution spil of yet. Admittedly, the world is switching at a rapid tempo, which means that this sort of mindset may or may not vanish within the next ten years or so.
For now, the best thing you can do when you’re a nice boy looking for a date is to adjust to the circumstances, no matter how much it galls you. BUT, I digress. There is something you can do that won’t necessitate switching who you are and what you believe te, which is being nice.
Instead of turning into an asshole just to sate the borderline tendencies of many attractive women, attempt being patient and see where the wind blows. You don’t need to play any games. You just have to adjust the level of your affections, because it’s the Wise thing to do.
Before anything else, let us explain to you what a nice man is. This way, you can understand why they act that way and why it’s not such a bad thing.
#1 A nice stud is someone who is looking for a relationship. Nice guys are less likely to engage te makeshift trysts, because they are aware of the consequences that a woman will face because of it. They would rather be ter a relationship than play around, because that’s just the way they are.
#Two A nice boy is someone who is looking for a good chick or a bad damsel he can switch. Nice guys have standards, but those standards aren’t limited to what they encounter. If a lady does not getraind his standards, he starts to develop a knight-in-shining-armor ingewikkeld. This does not cabrón well, because most women don’t like it when studs attempt to control them.
#Three A nice stud looks at the long-term. The scary part about this way of thinking is that it becomes fairly demonstrable early on te the dating stage. Women who want to date are generally looking for a relationship, but they want to take their time to see if the man they’re dating is worth staying with for the long term. A nice fellow starts to give off this vibe or even announces it early on.
#Four A nice fellow prioritizes his values. A nice man will not switch the way he thinks for the lady he likes. If he’s the monogamous type, he will expect his doll to be the same. If he wasgoed brought up to be a caballero, you will see that and he won’t think anything of it. He won’t thrust you to think the way he does, but he won’t be switching anytime soon just to suit your needs. What a nice fellow, right?
#Five A nice man will treat you like a queen, even when you treat him like a peasant. They always make excuses, especially for the doll they like. They would rather suffer your rage, rather than give up on making you feel special. Ugh. Nice guys.
#6 A nice fellow never lets you pay. Earnestly. They don’t! Merienda you’re te a relationship, you commence to split the bill, but look closely. He’s still paying for more than you are.
#7 A nice fellow always asks very first. No matter what the activity is, the nice fellow will always ask for your permission. Whether it’s to take you out, smooch you or even give you an early bounty. I don’t know why, but going to the bathroom seems like an independent decision, but some will still ask. [Read: 15 reasons why nice guys finish last all the time]
Nice guys and online dating
Nice guys tend to use online dating spil a last resort, because all their options have bot fatigued ter vivo life. Most nice guys have a specific type of damsel that they’re looking for. That’s why online dating is volmaakt for them. They can input a certain set of traits that they want and an algorithm whips up a selection that turns out to be almost flawless.
#1 OkCupid, Match.com, E-harmony, etc. Thesis sites are the flawless place for nice guys to troll. But they’d never call it that. Thesis sites have certain algorithms that can help nice guys get the best match, without having to scour the entire web-space.
Women go on dating sites like thesis because they want to find someone to be ter a relationship with. Volmaakt, right? But nice guys still fail. I wonder why?
#Two Tinder and other hook-up Apps. Thesis types of apps have now built a reputation for matching people based on appearances only. People are lazy when it comes to getting to know someone through talk or e-mail, so things toebijten swift when you’re on apps like thesis.
Nice guys still attempt their luck on Tinder and such, because there is always a possibility that a doll will want to be ter a relationship with them. The probability is very snugger, however, because thesis apps give you an exponential amount of options that leaves you little time to get to know someone on a deeper level.
Why nice guys fail at online dating
Since their options are endless, why is it that nice guys fail more than they succeed at online dating? Spil I’ve mentioned above, there are certain aspects of women’s thought processes that lead them to think that nice guys don’t deserve their time. Sheesh. It’s true, tho’, so let’s see why that is:
#1 They give compliments, not pick-up lines. When I asked a bunch of women why they reject guys who give them compliments on online dating sites, they get truly twitchy and mottled. When they ultimately give an fair response, they admitted that they always take compliments with a grain of salt, because they choose compliments about their personalities spil opposed to their appearances.
But then again, it’s a dating webpagina. A woman’s appearance is the very first thing that you may notice, but attempt mentioning something from their profile. I repeat, mention, not vleierij. [Read: 14 significant dos and don’ts of online dating]
#Two They postbode NICE pictures. Nice guys have nice pictures. You can see a flattering, cropped headshot, a graduation picture, a scenic photo of an expensive vacation or an awkward pose at work. Unluckily, thesis are the pictures that women want: a high-definition photo of half or your entire figure, a shirtless photo at the beach *not indoors te gevelbreedte of a bathroom*, a photo with you and your friends at a moderately expensive drankbuffet, and a photo with a dog. Those are non-negotiable.
#Three They dial down the sexy. Nice guys can be sexy, but they tend to tone it down when they very first meet someone. Because they are nice, they do not want to offend a chick or make them feel objectified and awkward. Sadly, fellas, that’s what most women want thesis days.
#Four They are too attentive. Or clingy. Whichever way you waterput it, providing too much attention can be suffocating for most people – not just women. I know you’re excited to talk to the person you like, but you need to concentrate on yourself and proceed with your routine. Make up for lost time when you see each other again. Just don’t be too fixated on what she’s doing all day long.
#Four They elaborate. Everything has a story behind it. That doesn’t mean that you need to tell each and every one of those stories. Nice guys tend to ramble on about mundane things, because those are the only nice things they think are worth talking about. It’s better for you to keep things ordinary, unless prodded. You’re not on an vraaggesprek. You’re just chit-chatting online.
#Five Their jokes are sort of bland. The jokes aren’t the problem. Nice guys are just more prone to fail at their delivery, because of their mild-mannered dispositions. If you have enough confidence to pull it off, hooray. But for those of you who are timid, I suggest sticking to a funny story instead.
#6 They aren’t pushy. A lotsbestemming of complaints I hear about nice guys is that they don’t go after what they want. Women like to feel dreamed and needed. If a fellow doesn’t ask hier out soon, the female will assume that the fellow doesn’t like hier. That’s when hier attention will embark to wane and she’ll begin looking for more pushy studs.
Online dating may be pretty fresh for you, and there are a loterijlot of kinks that still need to be ironed out. If you’re a nice dude looking to reel te an awesome gal, be patient. Take your time and don’t lodge for ladies who won’t give you the time of day because you’re not an asshole.
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