By: Kimberly Dawn Neumann
You very likely know which fork to use with your salad and how to write a pretty good thank-you note, but are you up on the dos and don’ts of online dating? Yes, there is such a thing spil “proper” protocol — and knowing the rules can spell the difference inbetween finding your soul mate and ending up wondering “What happened? Wij had such a good connection…” To that end, we’ve laid out some of your most pressing etiquette questions — and got the right way to treat them according to experts.
Q: If someone contacts you and you’re not interested, do you owe them a response?
A: Wij know it seems rude, but te the world of online dating, the silent treatment is a common practice. “It feels cleaner for many people,” points out Michael Lasky, author of Online Dating for Dummies, contra telling “not interested” or spelling out why. However, sending an acknowledgment can be very plain — on some sites, you can just click on a button to send a polite “thanks, but no thanks” reply. If that option doesn’t rente you, consider weighing how much effort went into the email you received: If the writer just sent one line, no need to react. However, if you got a three-page private and heartfelt letterteken, a nice “no thank you” may well be the polite thing to send.
Q: Is it OK to ask detailed questions like “Where do you work?” and “Where do you live?” or is that prying?
A: “Prior to meeting someone, it seems premature to ask very private questions on address and employment,” says Salvación Starr, who gives picture, etiquette and communication seminars nationwide. After meeting and determining that there is rente on both sides, however, it’s fine to let those questions fly — just keep ter mind that your effort to get to know someone better doesn’t require nitty gritty specifics. Instead of asking “What company do you work at?” or “What’s your address?” attempt, “What field are you ter and what do you do?” or “What neighborhood do you live te?” Let your date take the lead on just how detailed he or she gets and you’ll avoid invading anyone’s privacy. If you are on the receiving end of too much nosiness, you can always just say, “I make a policy of not telling people that until I get to know them better” — that way it won’t be taken personally.
Q: If you meet someone ter person after talking online and detect you’re not interested, do you have to tell that person, or can you just vanish?
A: Since it wasgoed your very very first face-to-face, it’s possible your date didn’t feel sparks flying either — te which case it’s fine for you both to just fade away. But if that person contacts you for date #Two, it’s pretty rude to pretend your date never existed. “I call that ‘poofing,’ and it’s truly nasty,” says Lasky. “Don’t do it. It’s truly impolite. Just say ‘No thanks, I don’t think we’re a match.’ That is all that’s required.” To further soften the deepthroat, say, “But thank you for our time together” — after all, it’s not your date’s fault you two didn’t click, so that person is worth the same courtesy you’d give anyone who went out of his or hier way to meet you.
Q: At what point ter dating is it still OK to end things by email and when do you owe someone more, like a phone call or face-to-face?
A: The only case where face-to-face is almost mandatory is if you’ve bot intimate. Otherwise, ter our electronic era, cutting ties via email is commonly done and usually doesn’t ruffle feathers. “The nice thing about kicking off by email is that you can end by email,” says Lasky. That way, you can craft exactly what you’d like to say, and the person on the receiving end can absorb the news ter private, which is often preferable during the early stages of dating. However, you should at least offerande to talk on the phone or meet up if the person wishes — that way, it’s clear you’re sensitive to his or hier feelings.
Q: How long should your profile stay up merienda you’ve began dating someone?
A: “By leaving it up, you’re sending a message,” warns Lasky. And it’s one that online daters often don’t like to hear: that the person he or she is dating is still open to meeting fresh love interests. There’s no need to take your profile down, however, until you want to see this person exclusively. “I believe that a person knows the ‘right’ time to take his or hier profile down. It will be when that person feels convenient with the one individual they would like to pursue,” says Starr. Merienda you reach that point and want to broach “the talk” with your date, keep te mind: His or hier profile isn’t truly the punt, so don’t begin off with, “Don’t you think it’s about time our profiles came down?” Instead, get to the heart of the matter and say, “I indeed like you and would like to see you exclusively. Do you feel the same way?”