Communication: make no butts about it!
Communication is one of those funny things wij all do but wij all don’t do well. How often do wij leave a conversation frustrated that the other person does not understand what wij are telling or is not receiving well what wij so despairingly needed to express? Wij just want to argue with them about how they could possibly not see things they way wij seem the now. Our knuckles tighten, our heart races, our face feels hot. Wij just want to force our information onto this person and make them feel exactly how wij expected them to te our head spil wij were programma the conversation.
Communication is key to a relationship. Wij hear that all the time. I will go a step further and say effective communication is key to a relationship. Wij all need to communicate how wij feel and what wij think. Wij all need to relate to another. What wij don’t always consider is that communication is the key to a lotsbestemming of things. It all depends what wij are communicating.
Wij communicate without even realizing it. The words wij use, our tone of voice, our facial expression, how wij are holding our arms, how wij are standing, whether or not wij use eye contactвЂ¦ The variables are endless and it can get staggering to think of all of thesis things simultaneous spil wij attempt to communicate something significant to us.
When attempting to talk to someone, it is significant to keep it elementary. Waterput yourself ter their footwear. Receiving information can be tough- be sensitive to this. Realize that your own defensiveness will breedgeschouderd more defensiveness ter the other person. Almost all of us have heard very likely heard by now that вЂњyouвЂќ statements feel accusatory and waterput people on the defensive, however, вЂњIвЂќ statements bring the concentrate back on you and your individual practice. вЂњIвЂќ statements permit you to express yourself without placing blame and it leaves the conversation open to other perspectives. вЂњYou don’t clean up your messвЂќ gives us a much different feel then вЂњI feel perplexed when this is not done.вЂќ
One word that wij don’t speak of spil much is the word вЂњbut.вЂќ The word вЂњbutвЂќ is what I call the communication eraser. I can express myself to someone and feel spil however I am truly making progress only to tour up and use the word вЂњbut.вЂќ Why is this word so bad? вЂњButвЂќ slices through our private expression. Wij can start to say so muchвЂ¦ вЂњI ran Two miles the other day, swam 40 laps, ate Five servings of vegetables, gedistilleerd 8 glasses of water butвЂ¦вЂќ Instantly what do wij feel? That вЂњbutвЂќ just negated the entire sentence and wij didn’t even hear what wasgoed said after it.В
Providing up the word вЂњbutвЂќ may be hard for us. It’s ter our everyday language. Its use is commonplace. Wij need a word to substitute our вЂњbutвЂќ to realistically zekering using the word. Instead of using вЂњbut,вЂќ wij can use вЂњand.вЂќ вЂњAndвЂќ is another interesting ordinary word. вЂњAndвЂќ bridges our thoughts together and permits us to express difficult things when wij pair them with lighter things. вЂњYou look excellent te that dress BUT you looked better te the other oneвЂќ becomes вЂњYou look fine te that dress and you looked better ter the other one.вЂќ вЂњI love you BUT wij need to work on delegating choresвЂќ becomes вЂњI love you and wij need to work on delegating chores.вЂќ
So get your butt out of trouble with вЂњbutвЂќ and embark using вЂњand.вЂќ