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Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Email Writing Tips: how to be funny and interesting!
A thought and response to your latest weekly e-mail. Specifically the following quote:
“write an email that catches hier attention by being interesting, insightful and funny.”
Give an example of one such e-mail, better yet, give a before and after version.
Here is my challenge to you: Take an promedio e-mail, that wasgoed sent out and then re-edit it with a commentary afterwards.” – JN
Well, like all actual guys out there, I can’t turn down a challenge, dare, dual dare, etc. However, you didn’t send mij an promedio email to re-edit, so I’ll just begin with your media bad email. It goes something like:
Promedio stud telling an media thing. If you’ve bot a long time reader, you’ll know that “cute” is one of the words I’ve banned from your vocabulary spil a future Online Casanova. (The others are Hot, Sexy and Nice) It’s so. promedio. And promedio is death.
“I like your hat” is a good example of the bad online dating advice given out by MSN and Yahoo online dating “experts” (COUGH). They say “find something ter hier profile or photo and ask hier about it.” That’s excellent if you want to be hier friend, but it doesn’t make any kleintje of connection, so leave behind that nonsense. I’ll tell you what to ask about ter a minute when I’m doing making joy of the bad email.
95% of bad very first emails end with “come take a look at my profile”. You want to end your email with a directive, not a request. Salesmen and marketers call it a “call to action”, like “BUY NOW!” Whatever. anything is better than a passive and wussy “come look at my profile.” You’d honestly be better off ending it with “zombie monkeys are eating my fingers spil I type, email mij back or they’ll finish mij off!” Actually, I zuigeling of like that. Anyone want to test this one for mij?
That’s what makes a bad email.
There is a current trend amongst guys to go with a “shock her” type treatment when they are meeting women, where they are a little bit cocky, a little bit funny. (I’m attempting to avoid actually telling “cocky/funny” spil coined by David DeAngelo, OK?) Here’s how to do it ter email.
Leave behind everything but the chicken farm. The chicken farm makes hier unique! This is what you want to concentrate the very first part of your email on. Call it your opening paragraph hook. Attempt to let your brain come up with the craziest, funniest observations you can. My brain is a little sluggish right now, but I might write something like:
Wow, that’s a bad set of puns, even for mij. Stupid brain. Anyway, you get the picture. You are touching on what makes hier unique, the little point that most guys overlook to go for the effortless and mundane stuff like “I like your hat.”
If I lost most of my other online dating abilities, this would be the one that would keep mij ter the spel. reading subtext into hier words.
“I’ve bot here before, perhaps to many times, each time a little more jaded. If only wij could be more fair with each other, the world would be a better place. I’m looking for a fellow who is zuigeling, faithful, and genuine.”
And the subtext says.
How did I get that out of the above paragraph? Look what she’s telling: she’s come back time after time, even more jaded, which means she’s gone through numerous relationships, each of them having ended with hier getting hurt. She’s wishing for more honesty, which means she’s faced a loterijlot of deceit. And she’s looking for a dude who is zuigeling, faithful and veritable, which strenuously suggests that she knows what she wants because she’s done time with a lotsbestemming of guys who have bot unkind, unfaithful, and insincere to hier.
She’ll react to a dude who UNDERSTANDS Hier! Leave behind everything about what women want on the surface! Deep down. they want to be understood (wij all do). Being a dude who understands who she indeed is and sympathizes with hier is so much more powerful and infrequent
“I read your profile and couldn’t help but feeling a twinge of sadness at your words. Wij all seek happiness ter life, but frustration certainly seems to find its way ter often enough. Like you, I simply seek a bright sunny day ter a cloudy world.”
This wouldn’t be my entire response of course, but it would certainly get hier attention away from the guys who write “I’m veritable, fair, and faithful.” You know. the same ones that hurt hier te the past?
You asked how to write a funny and insightful email? Combine those two technologies. Pick out the little unique gem ter hier profile and make it shine with humor, and read deep into the subtext of hier profile, find out what she is indeed telling, and sympathize with it.